Monday, October 1, 2007

This song really sums up what I'm feeling right now:

What can I say
When faith slips away into doubt
And the fear that I feel is incredibly real
And there's no way out
Everything is shaken
Hope is almost taken
But there is something making me say

I'm good
I'm fine
But I've seen better days

Maybe say a prayer when you think of me
I could use some help when you're on your knees
The Lord is kind
I know He's gonna see me through
Everything is gonna be alright

I'm holding onto
The mercy and truth of His plan
I'll weather this storm
Safe in the warmth of my Father's hand
But through the healing stages
I will stand courageous
Though the hurting rages in me

There is trouble on every side, but I'm not broken
I have been struck down, but I am not destroyed
Persecuted but I'm not abandoned
My hope is in the Lord,My hope is in the Lord...

Everything is gonna be all right
Everything is gonna be all right

Benjamin went to Children's today to meet with a respiratorist. He had an echo & an ECG done. The doctor said that he still has severe BPD (scarring on the lungs) and probably won't be off oxygen until next summer. He suggested taking him home on oxygen. He said if he gets RSV or a cold that could really be bad for him. He said that he is in the normal range for chronic lung disease patients and is doing great but that it will just take a long time for him to get off oxygen. We are looking into a home care program but don't really know much about the program. We don't really know the time frame in which he can come home yet but hopefully before the bad RSV season hits. He said that we have to be obsessive about not taking the boys out in public and washing our hands lots. I said that we have no problem with that since we already wash our hands a ton.

Kyle's appointment on Friday went good. They were pleased with his weight gain and said that he is just a small eater. He has to go to Dr. Outim on Wednesday so hopefully he'll say the same thing as well.


Anonymous said...

Remember that He loved you all before you even were- enough to die for you. He knows the numbers of hairs on our heads- he knows our hearts. Remember what He has done for you and the boys, and know that He will continue to take care of you all. PFY.

Betty Hansma said...

We continually think of you guys; that hasn't gone away with time. Benjamin, Kyle and you two are always in our prayers and on our hearts.

Isn't that so Benjamin's life story? That all these crazy things happen with him, but there's that hope that things will be better. And God has always brought those hopes to fruition for us. We'll keep begging him to heal Benjamin as quickly as his plan will allow.

And it would be so great for you guys to be able to take him home. We'll pray that you find good home care and all your plans fall into place.

It's so long now; but, there will be a day when this is the past. When you'll be so busy with your two little boys that you won't even have time to reflect on what's happening now.

Doubt is okay and not unexpected, but hold on to your faith and trust God as best as you can; he'll reveal his love for you as his plan unfolds over time. He has carried you all this far and breathed miraculous life into the boys. It won't stop here.

And if you need us for anything, we're just a phone call or email away. Don't hesitate.

Love Betty

Anonymous said...

I will continue to pray for you all. May God continue to keep you in His mighty hands.

Heather in Ontario

Anonymous said...

Dearest Gary and Greta,

You are so amazingly strong. But even strong people can have their down days. Those are the days when more prayer is needed. When family and friends pray for you when you cannot find the words to pray anymore.

We continue to look up your blog almost every day and will continually pray for you both and your two little miracles!

Keep your chin's the only way to look...for strength to our Heavenly Father. The years will fly by yet and before you know the boys will be calling you up saying they blew their tranny or ran out of gas on the side of the highway and you will sigh and thank God again for them!
In love, Tim and Inge Meinen

Anonymous said...

Greta: Hi, this is Christine Gauthier. I met you once at Childrens in June while our daughter Gracyn was in the NICU. I just wanted to tell you that I think& pray for you guys often. Our children are little miracles& God has a special purpose for their lives. Going through some of the same stuff as you& seeing how fragile life can be, it's very hard to watch your own child go through it. At times you probably feel alone, guilty& helpless know that God is always there holding you up as parents for Benjamin& Kyle. Take Care!

Robert said...

Dear Gary & Greta & boys,

Wow - thank you for being so transparent and real on this incredible journey where your faith has been tested and your testimony has been so God-honouring. The song you choose to share is beautiful and is another sign of the testimony you give of where you look for strength in your time of need. It probably feels a little scary to go home with Benjamin on oxygen but you've learned so incredibly well how to care for the boys in their different scenarios and you'll do well with this too. If there's anything we can do to help, any questions to answer, please feel free to call. Praying that God will hold you close when you feel so vulnerable. Thanks for sharing...the fact that you can share this way, shows how strong you really are. God bless.

Love Robert & Sandra & kids

Anonymous said...

Dear Greta and Gary,
What a song! I want you to know that I'm praying for you all every day. Give Benjamin and Kyle an extra hug for me.
Lots of love,

Anonymous said...

Dear Gary & Greta,
Praying for God's uplifting comfort for you as you face what can seem so impossibly hard-especially after everything you've travelled through already. Wanted to share Deut. 33:27a "The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms..." - When God's arms are underneath, they stay everlastingly there - though we don't always "feel" it with the same degree of comfort. God bless you as a family.
With Christian love, John, Jen & Family