Thursday, February 10, 2011

Benjamin's condition

For those of you who don't know, Benjamin deteriorated very quickly this morning. We were told that he couldn't survive on the ventilator since they had it running as high as it could go and his saturations were steadily dropping. So we were asked to make the choice of leaving him on the ventilator until he dies or trying a procedure. Since there was no chance with the ventilator we obviously decided to go with the procedure. He had to undergo surgery and be put on an ECMO machine. This machine takes the blood out of his heart, oxygenates it, and then pumps it back into his heart. It is basically taking over his lung function. The doctor didn't know if he would make it through surgery since he was so weak so we said our "goodbyes" to Benjamin and then waited in a room for the news. Thoughts were running through our head of how we were going to tell Kyle that his buddy is gone. But fortunately we didn't have to do that so far. Benjamin made it through surgery and is doing pretty good on the ECMO. The next 48-72 hrs will show whether the machine will help him or whether it is just keeping him alive. The doctor said that he is doing pretty good. His words were "not a 100% chance of making it, but greater than 50%" So we will see what the future holds. If he is on the ECMO for a week and there is no difference in how his lungs look we will have to make a decision of whether to take him off the machine and let him die or keep him on it. We pray that we won't have to make that decision but know that it is God's hands.

Right now it is very hard as we don't know what the future holds. We have already said "goodbye" to Benjamin twice this week. It is a very big emotional rollercoaster. I have a hard time eating even though I know that I should force myself to eat. And Gary has a very hard time sleeping. It's very hard to see our little man like this. This is not the memories we want of him if he does pass away, yet we want to be with him a lot. We try to reminisce about the boof he is and all the good memories. We pray that God will help us get through this no matter what the outcome is.


Kathy VanMuyen said...

Oh Gary & Greta,
Our hearts are torn for you.
We so want to be there with you, but we know that your family is with you. Opa Jake is also having a hard time sleeping. You are continually in our thoughts and we are praying constantly!
love jake & kathy

Carmen said...

Praying for strength for you and your family through this very hard time. My heart is just breaking for you, and I couldn't imagine myself or my children in your position.

LeanneO said...

Dear Greta and Gary,

We cannot imagine your heart ache, your exhaustion, your hopes or your fears. We continue to pray for you all. With lots of love, Leanne and family

Anonymous said...

Oh, Greta and Gary our hearts break reading your blog. We could never begin to understand what you are going thru. We pray that God will give you strength during this most difficult trial and the comfort that Benjamin is held in His Hands, in what ever the outcome may be. We pray that it be in His good pleasure to give Benjamin complete healing. {{hugs}}

Gerald, Lydia, Kristiana, Janessa and Sarah

Barb Delviken said...

My heart is aching for you.

Benjamin and Family, I pray that you feel the arms of Jesus around you as he carries you throughout the night and coming days. I pray that you have that Peace that passes all Understanding.

Be Joyful in Hope,
Patient in Affliction,
Faithful in Prayer
Romans 12:12

My Love, Support and Prayers are sent you way.....

Love Barb

Janet Les said...

Dear Greta and Gary, family
We pray the LORD is near and dear to you each moment, as He is to little Benjamin. We thank Him for your witness and faith during this rollercoaster. To Him be the Glory. Sincerely, Janet and family

Anonymous said...

Greta and Gary; We are sending all of you our prayers, hugs and love to help you through this difficult time. God will always be at your side.
Love Daleste's parents, Eileen and Doug Gunn

Clayton said...

Dear Greta and Gary,
Laura just called and updated us, and then I found this blog...our hearts go out to you and our prayers go up for you. It was almost a year ago that we were sitting by our son's side in the ICU living 'moment by moment'. What I am certain of is that no matter what the future holds, HE will carry you through it. I hope and pray that you know and feel the prayers that are being prayed on your behalf and that you may draw much comfort from that. At the end of the day, we know that ALL God does is GOOD, and He never forsakes His people. We will pray without ceasing for you, your family and of course Benjamin too. Love from Jackie and Clayton DeGroot
Lacombe, AB

Robert-Sandra said...

Dear Gary & Greta,
Our hearts break when we read about what you're going through with Benjamin. We pray that you will be given the strength to deal with this incredibly stressful time, that you will feel God holding you close, and that Benjamin will recover and improve if that is God's will for him.
Much love and constant prayers,
Love Robert & Sandra

Anonymous said...

To the Kanis/Hansma Families
Praying for you all as you go through this very sad and difficult time. What a trial! We are thankful you are able to leave this too with our faithful Savior. Romans 8:28
With love, Marty & Adeline & family

Anonymous said...

Will be praying for God's strength and comfort to you all in this time

Anonymous said...

Dear Gary and Greta,

Although we are on the other side of the globe, in our prayer we will be standing next to you.

Stephan, Tanja and the kids.

Heather VMS said...

Dear Gary & Greta,

We can't imagine what you're going through. To watch your child hurt so much and know that you may lose him is something most of us can't even fathom. We pray God will give you strength throughout this time and that He may be glorified in whatever happens.
Heather and family

Michelle Vandepol said...

the kids are praying too. sending love your way. thanking God for the supernatural grace He is giving you

♥ michelle

LeanneM said...

Praying for God's peace and comfort as you travel this road. Know that He will not give trials greater than we can handle. Please let us know if we can do anything to help support you!
With love, Leanne, Brian and girls

Willetta said...

Praying for you and your family.
"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Heather said...

We also are keeping you in prayer constantly Gary and Greta! My heart breaks for you! Love Heather, Richard and family

The Feijens said...

Please know we are praying... Roy and Steph

Hampson Family said...

You are in our thoughts and prayers. Praying God will comfort you during these trying times.


Chad, steph and boys

Anonymous said...

Dear Gary and Greta

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time of trial. We pray that the Lord will strengthen and uphold you.
Phil 4:6

Love Benj and Christine

Martin and Wieska said...

Our hearts ache for you. We too are thinking and praying for you through these difficult days.

Diana said...

Dear Gary and Greta,

We are praying that our Lord will heal Benjamin and continue to uphold you with His love and nearness. He has promised to walk through the fire with us and He never fails to keep those promises.

With love from Bernie and Diana

Anonymous said...

Gary and Greta,

I cannot imagine the heartache you must be going through at this time. We will remember you and your family in our prayers.

AJ and Laura Van Maren

Anonymous said...

Hi its Marie-eve, Ayva's mom from preschool. I just wanted to tell you that you have lots of friends and family that are willing to help, make sure you lean on them when you need it....if you need anything please ask. Our prayer are with you and your family....and we will keep praying...
Love Marie-eve

Shanna Woelders said...

We're praying for Benjamin & your family in such a difficult time. May the Lord give you strength.
Shanna & Jason Woelders & family

Michelle de Raadt said...

Thinking of and praying for you all. May you rest in the promises of God during this difficult time.
Love, Joss & Michelle and family

Anonymous said...

Praying hard for your sweet boy. May the Lord wrap his arms of comfort around you and give you strength to handle whatever He has planned. Love, Katrina & Colin, Kristina, Brant, and Owen

Anonymous said...

Dear Gary & Greta,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and dear Benjamin. May God give you the strength you need during this most difficult trial.
With love,
Chris & Joyce Klaassen

Tim and Lieneke said...

We are thinking of you and praying that you may feel the comfort and peace from our Almighty God through this difficult and trying time!
Tim,Lieneke,Jonah,and Danica Stiksma

Dwight Moore said...

We are praying for Benjamin, Kyle and both of you, and for all your family and friends. Dwight & Marian